No Fixing

The bell tower of the main cathedral in Pisa, Italy has always been unique. Even as it was being constructed in the twelfth century, workers noticed that is was starting to lean. Many efforts to compensate for this were made as the additional floors were built, but this only served to give it a slightly curved shape in addition to the lean. In the end, the finished product was unlike any other building in the world. Not surprisingly, this uniqueness continued to be a subject of great concern. In fact, over the last seven centuries, countless people have tried to fix the leaning tower of Pisa by using the best knowledge and technology of the time. While passing through Pisa on the way to our starting point for a pilgrimage to Rome, it was amusing to learn that every attempt to fix the tower has made it lean even more. Finally, at the beginning of the twenty first century, a means of simply stabilizing it appears to have worked very well, but when this success led to further plans to correct the lean, local and national Italian officials got very nervous. In addition to being an iconic symbol of Italy, the tower also draws millions of tourists to Pisa and to the surrounding areas every year. With that in mind, these leaders made it very clear that the leaning tower must never be fixed. It may be a stretch, but I like this as a metaphor for our own human relationships. In my blog posts, I have often referred to the “Covenants of Presence” that we often use in my Lutheran congregation. One of them says: “No fixing. We are not here to set someone else straight, right a wrong, or provide therapy. We are here to witness God’s presence and movement in the sacred stories we share.” Yes, skilled therapists and psychiatrists can help us find a path to healing when we are ill, but when you and I try to fix the people we journey with in life, we are often trying to change what makes them wonderfully unique. It is better, perhaps, to simply do what the latest engineers have done with the tower in Pisa and direct all our energy into keeping our loved ones from falling.